Ok, so it's not really my biggest secret, although really, I don't have many secrets. I'm a typical blogger- an oversharer of personal information!
The past few months I've been obsessed with The Biggest Loser. However, my obsession was not with watching the show, it was being ON the show. I shared this with very few people as to not get my hopes up.
3 months ago, I made a videotape and sent it in. 2 months ago I went to an open casting call. I had contact with them and was told my video was under consideration. Alas today, I got an official “not for this season” email from the casting director. Can you spell R-E-L-I-E-F? Not relief that I didn't get on, but relief that she was kind enough to give me an update, and release me from my crazy anxiety I've had from it.
You see, I allowed myself to use The Biggest Loser as a crutch. I told myself I didn't want to lose a lot of weight before going on the ranch, so I just maintained my weight. Then the nerves got to me last week when I knew they were getting to the final round of casting and my fate was still in the air. I ate. All that junk I wrote about. I might have been maintaining and then eating it anyway, even if I wasn't waiting with bated breath. My head hasn't been in the right spot. And I've said before, if your head isn't in the game, there's no use trying.
So now I'm back in the game of real life, after wishing for a game in a controlled environment for the past 3 months. And I'm totally okay with that. Don't get me wrong, I'll apply again next season (since I'll STILL have WAY more than 100 pounds to lose- their threshold) because I really feel strongly that it could help me, and I would love to help others. But in my own way, I blog here to help myself, and can only hope that I'm helping others in the process as well.
Here's a couple of videos I made that got put in my video. I'm not going to share my final video I sent them as it's deeply personal and unless it's going to get me on TV, I'd rather hold back the information for now.
Both videos are password protected: “skinnyemmie-rocks”
Video 1: Horses. In this one, I flub over my words and say Keeneland is a race horse instead of a race track, and when saying “best dress” I think I said “breast dress” but you get the idea.
Video 2: Bathroom Stalls- I've written widely about this before, now see it in action.