Today I had a session with Trainer Rob. Since I haven't been on the scale in nearly a month (a daily exercise in personal restraint) and I'm up for weighing in on Monday, Rob joked it was my “Last Chance Workout” ala The Biggest Loser. I actually brought my Flip Video camera so he could capture it if I puked. He laughed at that and said I wouldn't. His plan for me today? A 5K on the treadmill.
My reaction: “Say what?!”
My first 5K was on July 17th. I had been toying around with the idea of doing a 5K this month, but decided against it. I'm not a runner, nor do I pretend to be! I haven't been doing the Couch-to-5K program or working on speed. I thought that if I did another 5K, mentally, I would be upset if I didn't really improve my time from the first one. In the end, I know that the time doesn't matter, it's the action of completing that is the achievement, but my emotions are a little raw right now (a topic of which I need to write about more) and I didn't want to do something and then not feel great after it.
So imagine my surprise when Rob wanted me to do a 5K on the treadmill, heart rate based. This just means more intervals- bring my heart rate up to a point, then bring it back down, then back up – rinse and repeat.
I started out okay. Powerwalking, around 3.7. Some short spurts of jogging at 4.7. Some walking slower like a 3.4 but at a 4% incline.
I don't know what happened, but I had a mental breakdown in the middle somewhere. I've had some allergy issues this week and my head was stuffy. I probably didn't eat as much before the workout as I should have. I started feeling a little lightheaded and dizzy. But my heart rate was fine – just pressure in my head. I started to doubt myself that I could finish. What was the point anyway? I wasn't on a pace to really beat my first time and I was struggling to keep up the pace. Rob kept pushing me – he knows what I can do. Even thought it's MY mind and MY body, it plays evil tricks on me.
Then the tears came. I begged to slow down, and I just broke down. Rob slowed me down, and I had a moment. I was still walking super slow, making progress, but having a moment. I wanted to finish. I had a headache. My legs were fatigued from spinning yesterday. I was tired. Every excuse I could think of came in my head to stop. If I could have plopped down on the treadmill and had a massive, ugly cry without making a scene, I would have. Truly- that is what my mind was telling me to do.
Then I felt stupid. I could do it. I've done it before. Why am I crying here? So what if I have a headache, all I have to do is FINISH.
When I got to 1/10 mile left, Rob had me run it like I did with Shay from the first 5K. About .02 in I had another mental fart and hopped off the treadmill for a few seconds. I can't run a 5.0, even for 1/10 of a mile. Ugh. But I hopped back on and finished.
My time was 57:20, including my tears. My chip time from the first 5K was 59:20, so I took 2 minutes off. According to my BodyMedia FIT, I burned about 700 calories.
I know I should be proud, and I am. I need to get my comparisons to others out of my head and just accept it as a victory. I'm trying to let this sink in right now.
The most positive thing I took from today was how freaking hard it was for me to get my heart rate up. It's amazing because I was going so much faster than when I started training, yet I couldn't get my heart rate up to go as high! And when I needed my heart rate to “recover” or lower, it responded like a champ. It's kind of amazing really to see that kind of improvement INSTEAD of simply relying on the time on the treadmill.
So, even though it wasn't an official race, my 2nd 5K is in the books.
Oh, and sweaty, kind of happy picture here