4 Days of #reverb10

This month I’m participating in #reverb10. Every day a new prompt is issued and I will write my response. The goal is to reflect on 2010 and manifest what’s next in 2011. Want to learn more? Visit www.reverb10.com.

I’m 5 days behind, so here are 4 responses so I’m now only 1 day behind. Today’s prompt is a doozey though, so I’m going to save it for when I have more time to dedicate to it.

Prompt: Lesson learned. What was the best thing you learned about yourself this past year? And how will you apply that lesson going forward?

I am strong.

I never thought that while I was still above 300 pounds that I would be working out 5 times a week, in a gym no less. I let fear of failing, self-doubt and fear of judgment from others nearly paralyze me. But something in me snapped, where my inner strength came forward and I asked for help with the gym. With the trainer. And all it took was that one moment of strength on May 29 of going to the gym that has lead to nearly 7 months of continual workouts.

I am strong. Fat and fit: It does exist, and I will continue to prove that in 2011.

Prompt: Try. What do you want to try next year? Is there something you wanted to try in 2010? What happened when you did / didn’t go for it?

In addition to the things currently on my 101 in 1001 list, it popped in my head today that I might want to try snow skiing. Or snow tubing. (Or water skiing or tubing, but that’s hard to think about when it’s 28 degrees with snow on the ground). Road trip anyone? (I’m kind of serious…)

In 2010, I tried jet skiing, and it was amazing, as I’ve talked about 284,245 times already. Freeing. Exhilarating. Woo!

Prompt: Healing. What healed you this year? Was it sudden, or a drip-by-drip evolution? How would you like to be healed in 2011?

Physically, I was healed of some weight. And my heart physically healed as it got conditioned to exercise. That was drip-by-drip.

Something not healed? Emotional baggage. I have lots of self-doubt and negativity that is a constant in my mind. I have anxiety about seemingly useless things that keeps me up all night. I stay pretty bottled up around new people for fear of rejection. I want to heal this in 2011. I’ve started therapy this month and know it will be a long process. I need my mind progress to keep up with my body progress. I can’t wait.

Prompt: Beyond avoidance. What should you have done this year but didn’t because you were too scared, worried, unsure, busy or otherwise deterred from doing? (Bonus: Will you do it?)

I truly feel I took on all I could in 2010 and for that reason, I don’t have anything I regret NOT doing. My wish is that I can say the same next year.

  • http://musingsofmaia.blogspot.com Maia

    That is so amazing that you don’t have any regrets! I wish I could say the same!

  • Amanda

    You could hit up Paoli Peaks in Paoli, Indiana for your skiing/tubing experience. It is a great place. They even offer snow boarding! :)


    • http://authenticallyemmie.com Skinny Emmie

      Great minds think alike! I was on their website yesterday!

      • Amanda

        I actually live in Louisville – so if you would ever like to venture up there, let me know! I’ve been lurking on your blog for awhile now. :)

  • http://workoutsforhome.com Susan @ Home Workouts

    Isn’t finding out you are strong an awesome gift? I recently had the same epiphany, for a different reason, but am still proud of it. And you should be too.

    BTW, fat and fit does exist, but you are well on your way to being…..just fit! Keep up the great work and please let me know if I can help.

  • http://www.anonymousfatgirl.com AFG

    I’ve learned I cannot let toxic people define me. I am my own person. BTW, Merry Christmas!