No, I didn't take a big fall. Just thinking about how it's Wednesday, aka Hump Day (insert childish joke here). Although I do feel a little like an egg balancing on a spoon during a spoon race. Just weaving back and forth, waiting to fall off the edge and go “splat!”
I feel a little wobbly right now because this winter is still really, really messing with my head. As I type this, I'm shivering in my home office with fingers heavy like ice cubes. We had some sunshine yesterday for a little while and it made me insanely happy. But today, snow fell again, and the gray sky has clouded up my mind again.
This morning, I went to the gym early so I could make sure I got 4 miles in to start the half-marathon training.
I've had some foot joint pain recently, and realized it was probably time for some new running shoes. At lunch, I huddled up and wobbled over to a local running shop to pick up some more Brooks Ariels. While I was there, I looked at the fanny-pack'ish sport belts that apparently people use for long runs. Makes sense, because who wants to carry water all that way? And who wants to carry keys and stuff? What I realized though, was that even though they were marked “one size fits all,” they certainly weren't. The largest I could get it to go was about 40 inches, and that's WAY too small for this fat but fit chick. Does anyone know where I might be able to get one in a larger waist size?
I tell you what, that 4 miles on the treadmill was long. To think of doing that 3 times PLUS 1.1 miles more? Um, I think that might take more mental strength than physical. I wanted to go do a machine – ANY machine – rather than keep my legs walk, walk, walking. Hopefully I'll begin to like it more!
Back to my humpty dumpty feeling: There have been several times after posting that I was not only doing the half marathon, but ALSO trying to raise money for Parkinson's Disease research that I am setting myself up for failure. I know I don't have long to train, and know that $2,500 is a LOT to try to raise.
But then I pull myself away from the edge of the spoon and think:
If I never set these goals, I'll never know if I can reach them.
So tonight, I'll go to sleep trying to find a comfortable place in the middle. It's okay to be scared, but it's wrong not to try.
Note: for those who have already donated, THANK YOU. I am going to send out hand-written thank you notes as soon as my specially-designed Skinny Emmie Thank You cards get here (because I'm a geek and must do everything the hard way). In the meantime, I'll be sending you emails later this week when I can tackle my inbox. But seriously, THANK YOU, and PLEASE help me spread the word.