Not sure if it’s coincidence or if something really is going on with zombies, but I’ve had conversations with 2 groups of people this week about how long we’d survive if we were struck by a zombie apocalypse. Zombies take over, power goes out, and we have to fend for ourselves.
I don’t keep much shelf-stable food at my house, because I tend to only eat refrigerated, fresh items like veggies, meat, and seafood. When I was 455 pounds and at the height of my binge eating problem, I could have survived apocalypse for quite a while as I existed almost entirely on Doritos, cookies, potato chips, diet coke, and bean dip. Frozen pizzas were also quite plentiful, although I suppose that wouldn’t help me since I couldn’t keep the freezer cold or cook them by anything else but fire. I could open up my refrigerator and only have a bag of grapes, some half and half, Velveeta queso, and some orange juice staring back at me. These days, I have trouble finding room for food in there.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to make light of my former binging or get a laugh out of the stereotypical “fat person” foods – this is just fact.
Last week, my husband and I came to a realization: we had each individually been solicited to buy Girl Scout cookies from his nieces. This means in addition to my big order which I have no intention of eating anytime soon, he also placed a big order with his favorites and what he thought were my favorites.
At first I was all:
ZOMG. How am I going to be able to resist these damn cookies? I love cookies. Nom nom nom. I want some NOW! But wait: I don’t eat sugar! Or flour! Damn!
I want cookies! These are, like, so special. Only once a year. COOKIES!
Today I realized that I cannot eat the cookies. Not because they aren’t great for you, but because I need at least SOME food to tide me over during the zombie apocalypse. And I’m not sure about you, but when the end comes, at least I’m going with a belly full of Caramel DeLites.