I’ve done some deep posts in the past week or so, and for today, all I have to say is… balls. That’s basically my way of saying my attitude is sucky right now. But sucky isn’t the right word, balls is. Basically, frustration and some sadness, but acceptance of what it is. I don’t know where my terminology comes from. Perhaps I’ll blame Holli.

Anyway, I read a post from the awesome Lydia about her trepidation of doing the Run the Bluegrass half marathon. This is the same half marathon that I did last year. I knew it was coming up as I know several people who are participating this year, but I just didn’t realize how close it was. She wrote about some anxiety she’s having about her ability to complete it. I threatened her with a foghorn and glitter-covered-posters, but really I know what she’s feeling.

One year ago this weekend, I did eight training miles. Eight miles. *cue Eminem*

I was so dang proud. Like, “woah…I’m bad-ass” proud.

Today, I felt pretty, but not bad ass. Actually, in physical therapy, I was cursing my ass. And my hips. Apparently they’re both really weak and I don’t walk properly. Thus my ankle isn’t calming down enough to heal. Eight miles versus today’s pain of trying to stand on my tip-toes to strengthen my ankle. Big difference. Bad ass versus balls.

*cue the tiny violin*

Thankfully, I’ve pulled my head out of my (bad) ass and am trying to flip it into a positive. It’s been a year and I’m still going. Still working at my goals, still living my life. For that, I am immensely thankful.

Perhaps the tiny violin will appear again in a few minutes. For now though, I’ll try to sit proud in the silence.

  • Denise

    Silence can be golden, gives you time to think.  You write to the heart of the matter, things  that get all of us from time to time.  Thanks for putting it out there.  I’m so impressed by you.  It’s fantastic what you have done and where you are headed.  From my perspective you are about as bad ass as they come.  Keep it up!    

    • kylydia

       I agree with Denise that you’re about as bad ass as they come, even with the balls moments. We need those moments to reflect, and everyone is entitled to a little self pity when they’ve been injured for a year! It’s continually impressive that you haven’t let that injury be a detriment to your life. You’re still striving and working toward all the changes you want to see. So many people would face that injury by giving up. It takes a special sort of person to not let that happen.

      • Emily Sandford

        Thank you Lydia. I think you’re really bad ass, for realz. 

    • Emily Sandford

      thank you so much Denise

  • Marianne Parker

    Take peace in knowing that my 15 year old 140lb 6″ gymnast/cheerleader is in physically therapy right now for an ankle injury that was caused, for the most part, by weak hips, butt, and lower back.    He’s been doing PT since the middle of December when he injured his ankle, tumbling on a bad spring floor.  It’s not just heavy people that have this problem.  Our PT says that MOST leg injuries are caused by hip, low back, and butt weaknesses.

    • Emily Sandford

      I’m sorry to hear your son is injured – what a bummer! But thank you for the re-assurance. I hear from my trainers all the time about the importance of hip, back, and butt strength – just never thought about all the repercussions. 

  • Faith Cracraft

    Found your blog from Lydia’s–I’m running the Run the Bluegrass in a few weeks and must say that you are quite an inspiration! Look forward to following your journey and celebrating with you (and I LOVE your fashion blog!  I’m heading to conference next week before RTB and have been trying to brighten up my wardrobe!)

    • Emily Sandford

      Thank you Faith! I hope you have an awesome Run The Bluegrass – it really is an awesome race. I hope to be there with pom poms

  • Denise Elliott

    Bad ass is about doing what needs to be done, no matter how much effort or how crappy you feel while doing it – and that’s totally how I see you handling your injury. You inspire me every day and I really appreciate your sharing the tough times as well as the good because that’s real life.

    • Emily Sandford

      Thank you Denise, I really appreciate it. You’re awesome. 

  • Kraftypixie

    Good for you for flipping it into a positive. Sorry, tiny violin did not show up immediately though. Lol. I wanted to thank you AGAIN for motivating my large ass to get the Wii game “Walk It Out”. I am doing it every day & have logged 6mi so far. I’m also playing Just Dance 2 or 3. With a Wii I can learn the arm movements on the Just Dance games & the Walk It Out balances that w/my lower body working out. Also got a wonderful game called “Leela” which is for meditation & play based on chakras. Deepak Chopra made it. It’s what I use to wind down. Doing all of it has my dog highly amused. She can’t figure out what the heck I’m doing & sits and looks at me, tilting her head side to side. Again, thanks so much for this blog & your video of you exercising with you Wii. You are my inspiration!

    • Emily Sandford

      I’m so glad to hear you’re having such an awesome time with exercise and the Wii! My dog usually tries to interfere with any at-home workouts, so at least yours sits and stares! Thank you for your kind words – I’m so excited for you. 

  • Jules

    Please don’t be disheartened…you are an amazing person! I know it must be hard thinking about what you were doing a year ago compared to what you have going on at the  moment, but you have acheived so much! Whenever you feel down, just look at those awesome pics you posted last week of your journey…truly inspiring! You are beautiful and talented :)
    I have the Wii Active game…I love it! The only bit I don’t like is the running part…I used to love it but since I took up running outside I much prefer that, but the resistance band workouts are great! However you should see me trying to do the dance workouts combined with the balance board.  I have to remove breakables from the room and my cat runs for cover :)