I'm a people-pleaser. Always have been, and always will be. In having this characteristic, I tend to apologize a lot, even if things aren't quite my fault. I'll grab ownership and apologize, making myself feel awful in the process. Over the years, I've worked hard to stop internalizing everything, and for the most part, it has worked.
The past few weeks, however, I've noticed the pattern of apologizing:
- Said to my trainer after completing 3 sets instead of 4 on the prowler: “Sorry I could only do 3 sets.”
- Said to my friends during The Color Run: “Sorry I am so slow.”
- Said to myself repeatedly as I sit down to write a new blog post: “Sorry I'm a weight loss blogger who hasn't lost weight in a year.”
- Said to another trainer who was helping me modify some exercises: “Sorry I have to do different things than others.”
After scenarios 1, 2, and 4, each person I was talking to responded with a “Why? There's nothing to be sorry about!”
This made me think – am I REALLY sorry?
- I'm not sorry for the shape that I'm in. I am proud of it.
- I am not sorry for the speed at which I walk. I'm glad to be walking at all.
- I am not ashamed of the work I've done the past year despite results not showing on the scale. I've worked hard and haven't let setbacks push me back into old habits.
- I am not sorry for having to modify exercises. I have to take care of myself in the best way possible.
Time to hold my head high and stop apologizing for the shape I'm in. I've earned it with hard work and that is nothing to be sorry about. I wrote a related post last night on the ENELL blog where I embrace that I dislike distance races and pledge to only do fitness that is FUN. No more apologies for disliking certain things and liking others.