Elephant in the Room

elephant in the room

I've always hated the saying, "elephant in the room." I know what it means, but it never fails to make me think someone is making a fat joke or fat reference with regards to me. It's conditioning from a lifetime of being told by society (and believing it) that I was less of a person because I carried (much) more weight. Every reference to the "obesity epidemic" with blurred out fat bodies across a television screen, on a blog I once liked, or on Continue Reading

Six years, slow healing

mom2

I am a jumbled mix of emotions this week. Work is crazy busy (thankful!), but this particular week hasn't been smooth sailing for six years now. I was finishing up a rigorous MBA program when my mom, sick with Parkinson's Disease, went in the hospital and never came out. Two days before my birthday, three months before my graduation, and six months before my wedding, she died. Last year for the anniversary of her death, I wrote her a letter Continue Reading

Removing Pain and Shame

one step at a time

Today I had my second appointment my new podiatrist to get my fancy new insoles that will hopefully help heal my still-inflamed tendon for good. I wore ridiculously awful fitting shoes in New York, so my tendon was really inflamed again and I got a medicated wrap and an order for 4 days back in my old friend: Not nearly as bad as it looks. This is just keeping the wrapping on nice and snug so the swelling goes down. Even though I have Continue Reading

Lifting the veil to expose insecurities

Lifting the veil

Note: I'm writing this post not to defend myself or to cry foul over dissenting comments. I really think this has been a valuable learning lesson and just want to explain the processing of the episode a bit. A little over a week ago, I wrote a blog post called "Accepting the Now." I'd love if you checked it out in it's entirety before moving forward in this post, but to summarize: I'm tired of the endless runaround and analysis my head plays Continue Reading

Accepting the Now

emmie-road-to-fit

I've been quite ho-hum lately with my weight loss. It's been non-existant but I haven't worried about it because I really have felt active, vibrant, and happy. When you've obsessed about your weight for over 25 years as I have (yes, I remember it being a problem at 6 years old), there inevitably comes exhaustion of worrying about everything that enters your mouth and how many calories you're burning. Then, as soon as you tell yourself you're Continue Reading