“If you can't fly then run, if you can't run the walk, if you can't walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.”
— Martin Luther King Jr.
I've always loved this quote. Sometimes I wonder why I spent so much time standing still, or even going in reverse, being so negligent to my body and it's physical and emotional well being. It's so easy to make small changes to keep yourself moving forward, and it's a shame that we as humans can self-sabotage so easily. Crazy.
I've had thoughts pop into my head the past couple of days regarding my mom, who died a couple of years ago at 50 years young. Sunday, I went to sleep with some back pain and when I woke up Monday, I literally couldn't move. Paralyzing back spasms kept me from even trying to get off the bed. I finally fell off of it, then had to drag myself up and I somehow fought through the pain and made it to work. Went to the doctor and it's nothing serious- inflamed sacroiliac joint (connects hip to spine) that is putting pressure on my sciatic nerve on my right side. Tuesday spent the day completely immobile, and it was miserable.
It took about 10 years for my mom's Parkinson's Disease to completely cripple her. Can you imagine being in your 40's and having to be in a nursing home? I know that many people have similar stories of tragedy striking before it seems that it is time to. When I was laid out on my back all day yesterday, I read Susan Blech's Confessions of a Carb Queen. Her mom had an anyeurism when she was young and was institutionalized. Her description of her mothers inability to really communicate or to ever be able to come home really struck a chord in me. She and I both got to the same ridiculously high number on the scale. Pure neglect and self-sabotage trying to eat for comfort. Yet our mothers had similar circumstances where they didn't have the LUXURY that we all do– to change our actions to affect our lifestlye in the long run. I'm laying starting at my ceiling fan while my back is spasming and while my back issue didn't have anything to do with my weight, I could almost see, crystal clear, the picture of what I could have become should I not have chosen to start to move forward, as Dr. King so eloquently expresses. As I literally crawled to the bathroom since I couldn't get upright, all I could do is be thankful that nothing more serious is wrong with me and that I can make changes now so I don't become a bed-bound huge woman who couldn't get past the self-neglect to move herself forward.
Dr. King's quote will be one of my daily mantra's going forward. Because going forward is the only option.