Not the biggest?

I've been super busy this week at work, so not too much time for blogging. I did have an epiphany about clothes today that I wanted to share before my head returns to Fat Emmie mode.

I've talked before about how I have a closet full of clothes ranging from a size 16-34. Bits and pieces of each size, but not a cohesive wardrobe per-say of any of them. I could never keep my body at one size long enough to form a full array of clothes as I'd like to. My biggest chunk of clothes are around the size 22 mark, where I had previously lost 150 pounds and maintained for about 9 months. I have lots of jeans and sweaters and dresses in that size because I was in grad school at the time.

Anyway, I see the scale moving downward, and people cheer “hooray” but I don't really feel anything. It's not like you are always aware that you are slowly shrinking. And lets be honest, at my weight, it takes a good hunk-of-weight-loss before you can start to see changes.

When you're up in the 28+ category of sizes, things are even more limited than just “regular” plus sizes. Can you imagine the lack of choices? Blech. This time, and always, when I lose weight, I always keep ordering things online (more variety) in the biggest size offered. Usually I get them in the mail, and the biggest size is too small, so back to UPS they go.

Until today.

I had an epiphany that my body IS changing. That I'm NOT having to always buy the largest size available!

As I posted last week, I ordered some things from Kiyonna, SWAK Designs and Lane Bryant. Got the Kiyonna and Lane Bryant items in today and tried them on tonight. Have you ever had that feeling, when you start to put your arms into something and you can tell that it will be too tight before it even goes over your head? Or put on pants that before they even reach your hips, you know they won't work? That has been my reality EVERY.TIME I tried something on from those places, or anywhere else for that matter.  But today? No tightness. I look in the mirror and to my dismay, not only are they not tight, they are too big! Hot damn! I literally had to do a little dance to celebrate. Maybe this weight loss thing is working out after all!

Before, I would just see a pile of clothes and automatically search for the biggest size. Online, I'd only search by size so I wouldn't even have to see those things that weren't offered in extended plus sizes. I've come to the realization today that I need to get out of that mentality! Stop auto-focusing on the biggest!