Note: I originally wrote this post to be a guest post on someone elses blog. After thinking about it, I decided that MY blog is the right place to post it. I haven't ever flat out said my weight on the blog. I can't believe I'm about to post it, but you guys have taught me to be much more brave than I ever thought I could be, so here it goes.
455 pounds.
That’s “Biggest Loser” big. Heck, it’s even OVER “Biggest Loser” big for some seasons.
Millions of people watch this television show where the morbidly obese contestants work their way through long journeys of becoming fit. Throw in crazy amounts of sweat, crying, some occasional vomiting and falling off treadmills, and it makes for fantastic television.
What if this was more than a reality show? What if it was YOUR reality?
One year ago, this was MY reality. 455 pounds of a scared 28 year old wondering if this is what her life was destined to be – over before it’s begun. When you’re 455 pounds, the flicker of hope that you have for a healthy, active lifestyle is so dim you could barely recognize it in a pitch black room. Faced with the warnings from others about the health risks of being so large, the snide comments said behind your back but in a voice loud enough for you to hear, you really learn how much (or how little) faith in yourself, and in other people, that you really have.
Fast forward to present day, where I’ve gone through struggles of trying to find out what my motivations are for losing weight, where I try to do everything right and get slapped in the face by the scale. I’ve also had triumphs. First 10 pounds lost. Next 10 pounds lost. The first time someone actually said “wow, you’re losing weight!” The time when I got to throw out all clothes with a size “3” in front of the second digit. When my scale no longer had a “4” as its first number.
One year later, and while the scale only shows 61 pounds gone, the bumpy journey it took me to get here has put me on the straight and narrow road ahead. This road to being skinny, to more weight loss, to smaller clothes, to a head held higher.
In the end, it’s all about being FIT. This past week I joined a gym. I have a trainer. I did Zumba and swam 700 meters in the pool and posted videos about it (in my swimsuit no less!). At 394 pounds, this morbidly obese girl is on her way to becoming fit. There are still haters out there who question my motivation or strength to make it to the finish line. There are people who will do a double take when seeing me walk into an aerobics class. But there are also ones who are encouraging- sharing a kind word or a warm smile that lets me know they’re supporting this fattie getting fit. All it takes is one moment of compassion from a friend or a stranger to let me know that this 255 pound weight loss journey I’m on is much shorter than the marathon I had planned on it being.
So while many of you are on your own super fitness journeys – 5k’s, half marathons, full marathons, triathlons – realize that some of us are waiting in the wings warming up to get ready to join you.
Open your arms and brace for impact. I can’t wait for the day when I too, can be fit.
