Note: I have several posts on here about my mom and her impact/influence on my weight and her death in 2007. Her death was one of the triggering life events that got me to my highest weight, but it is also one of the biggest reasons I continue to fight for my health. She, with Parkinson's Disease, didn't have the choice to let her body deteriorate. I do. I choose life, and am striving to live a life full of experiences she wasn't able to.
Today would have been your 56th birthday. I'm sure you wouldn't want me broadcasting that to the world if you were here, but I really think it's nothing to be ashamed of! I think if you were still here I'd take you out for lunch somewhere we could sit outside on a patio and then we could grab coffee at Starbucks. I don't quite remember, but I think you took your coffee with cream and Equal, although you'd be shocked to hear that Equal is so passee now – it's all about stevia.
I had some old photos scanned recently and I found one of you and I could see myself in it just a little bit. I've never really been able to see a physical resemblance to you or dad, but in this photo, I was happy to recognize some of myself in you. Or you in me. Whichever. I wish I could grow my hair long like this – you know I've never been good with long hair. Though come to think of it, you never wore your hair past bob-length when we were growing up. Oh, and those perms? Wouldn't fly today. We'd have to find you a new style.
Sorry this letter is more casual than the others I've written. I don't have the energy today to be upset today over you not being here. I'm putting on my happy face and saving the tears for another day. I'm sure you understand – you always do.
Love forever and always,
Other posts about my mom:
- Parkinson's Disease – her story
- Peaks and Valleys – August 2009
- A Voice – April 2010
- Why So Emotional? – April 2010
- Happy Thoughts – August 2010
- 55 – August 2011
- Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda – April 2012
Closing comments on this one – I know it's a little awkward sometimes when there is something this personal.