This month I’m participating in #reverb10. Every day a new prompt is issued and I will write my response. The goal is to reflect on 2010 and manifest what’s next in 2011. Want to learn more? Visit www.reverb10.com.
Prompt: Future self. Imagine yourself five years from now. What advice would you give your current self for the year ahead? (Bonus: Write a note to yourself 10 years ago. What would you tell your younger self?)
This prompt came through a few days ago and I did a big *le sigh* because I didn't have the energy to sit down and really reflect on this. Tonight, however, it's quiet, I have a belly full of cookies (Yep, cookies. Bad, bad bad) and I want to give this one a shot.
A letter to myself as written five years from now – Advice I would give my current self for the year ahead:
2011? This is the year of possibilities. Of standing up tall and pushing ahead, breaking down physical and emotional barriers that have held you back for years. You'll love therapy and will have a lot of success in managing your anxiety and depression. After years of off and on treatment, you will start to really heal from your past and grow stronger from it. You will see that your feelings of self-doubt will start to disappear. Yes, they'll still come around at times, but for the majority of the time, you will keep those feelings at bay.
You'll also work really hard at the gym. You will push yourself and maintain your five day a week schedule that you maintained in 2010. You will become more active outside of the gym also, opting to go on more walks or do a yoga DVD after work. You will stay focused on your fitness, and continue to make great strides in what your body can do. You'll love it. Your body is going to become stronger, leaner and more flexible, and you'll have less pain and more range of motion in everyday movements.
Your eating is going to be a little wonky at the beginning of the year as you introduce some carbs and try to count calories better, but you'll figure it out and find what works best for you. Try new foods and be conscious of everything that goes in your mouth. Keep snacks at work so you eat more frequently throughout the day. This will help your lunch and dinner appetite be a little more in check.
You're going to have one hell of a 30th birthday celebration. Enjoy every second of it, and be super thankful to those who are celebrating it with you.
2011 will also bring more friends into your life- virtual and in-person. Be thankful for them and their kindness and you'll be friends with them for a long time.
Kick ass at work. Work hard, and continue sharing your ideas with the team. You'll have a lot of work on your plate, but you can handle it for sure.
Your husband is awesome. Cut him some slack when he's obsessing over the weather. Let him watch The Weather Channel if he needs to – he can't really help it. And try to talk him into another great vacation like 2010's cruise.
Have a blast, you deserve it!
A letter to myself 10 years ago – What I would tell my younger self:
I know you think you're ugly and huge and want to stay in all the time. But you're beautiful and NOT huge (especially when compared to how you will become if you don't stop what you're dong now) and have a whole life to live. Enjoy yourself. Go out with new people from classes. Stay in touch with people from the dorm freshman year. Keep exercising- you'll thank me later. I know things are REALLY bad with your mom and dad right now. They will all work themselves out. It's THEIR problem, not yours. Don't let them make you feel bad about yourself. Stop eating all the junk for comfort. When did you form such a potato chip, pizza, ice cream and soda diet? You used to never eat that stuff! Stop buying the Soft Batch cookies also- they're really not that good.
Stop being such a square. Have a drink. Or two. Go to a party. Or three. It's college – you're supposed to let loose a little bit. Although, on your 20th birthday when you decide to have a birthday party at your apartment, DO NOT eat the lo-mein from the Chinese buffet before drinking about 1 gallon of purple hooch and screwdrivers. Your floors (and roommate) will thank you later.
You are going to have some major challenges in the next 10 years. I guarantee that you will handle them all to the best of your ability and that you will make it out with scars, but alive and wiser from it all. Mom is going to get very sick, very fast. Watch those around her and protect her from them. Get her belongings and sacred possessions, otherwise they're going to disappear and you will never see them again. And try to remember her voice while she can still speak. You'll really miss it when she passes.
Stop buying everything on a credit card. Especially clothes from Lane Bryant. Just because you work there and get a discount it doesn't mean you need to spend all your paycheck there. That red striped sweater is really hideous anyway. And coffee. And food. And everything. Cash is king. Cut up the plastic.
Seriously. Start exercising again. Remember how much fun you had teaching aerobics at fat camp? Keep doing it. Remember how you jogged around campus freshman year? Keep doing it. You know you can. Don't let the sadness and stress of everything weigh you down. Take care of you.
PS: In the next year, you're going to meet the guy you're going to marry. Awesome, right?