Lately, my success on this journey hasn't been on the scale. The scale hasn't been moving, however my attitude and outlook are making huge strides in ways that I know are setting me up for long-term success: on-scale and off.
A couple of days ago, someone left a comment on my Facebook page asking why I continue to blog and get social support if I'm not losing weight consistently right now. Before you run off to flame the person (please don't), I want to just say that it's okay. Truly.
This comment made me think and appreciate why I do this whole blogging thing.
Sometimes, being a weight loss blogger is tough. If I've said I'm a “weight loss blogger who isn't losing weight” that's a little ridiculous, right? I could say that I'm a “healthy living blogger” which is certainly accurate, but weight loss is a major part of my “healthy living” focus. I've had many “aha moments” in the past 4 weeks of no weight loss, and I don't want them to get overshadowed by the number on the scale. In order to fix the scale, I'm changing up my workouts and re-evaluating all my food. Think of it as a re-calibration. This happens, and for the first time in what feels like my entire life, I'm completely okay with this adjustment period. I know eventually the scale will move again.
In the past, these plateaus would happen and it would lead to disaster. My discouragement would creep in and as a result my confidence would bottom out and I would end up abandoning my weight loss efforts. I could hang on to my perseverance for a few weeks, tops. The difference this time is that I am completely aware of my feelings and appreciative of my progress so far. Perhaps it's not happening as quickly as I intended, but my hope has not dimmed one bit. I know I'll get there, and it's in my hands to control. No one can take my progress away from me: on the scale or off.
I've lived in fear over people judging me because of my size or health for way too long. Previously, an even semi-discouraging comment even made in passing or completely innocuously would send me into a spiral of shame and self-loathing. This time? I feel peace. I know why I am doing this, and why I will succeed.
My intention behind this blog has always been to be honest and to write about my experiences. It can be painful, uplifting, emotional, downright devastating or completely joyous. I never set out to be anyone's “inspiration.” I am humbled people have called me that, but I want to be clear: I do this for me. Yes, I want you to succeed. I want everyone who is struggling to be able to find their way. But in the end, I share my journey to help ME, and in the process it might help others.