Welcome to another random edition of Fat Camp Follies. If you need to catch up on my past fat camp follies posts here you go:
While surfing online for bathing suits for my upcoming cruise, I began to reminisce about fat camp days, once again. I’m sure most people who would self-identify with being “fat” right now can relate to this: when you look back at pictures from your earlier years, do you just want to SMACK yourself for thinking you were fat then? I mean really, fat is relative. If I was fat during fat camp days (in my prime years of 15-18), then now, I’m a freakin’ elephant (or two). Le sigh.
Anyway, I previously talked about my first embarrassing boob run-in here. I think that incident put somewhere in my crazy mind that while yes, I may be hefty, at least I had boobs boys liked! Come on, what larger girl hasn’t taken solace in her larger chest? That was at least one thing the skinny bitches didn’t have! Ha! (ok, so I’m reverting back to my old defiant fat teenage days here…. I digress).
Seeing as I liked my chest, and wasn’t completely disgusted with my body, I remember taking extra care with shopping for bathing suits before fat camp. Being a competitive swimmer, I often partook in lap swimming and water aerobics during fat camp activities. This meant I had my requisite Speedo competition suits on hand all summer. Blah. Boring. Not a great look for the breast-us-ses.
Despite having these perfectly adequate swimsuits, I always wanted a couple other suits that were more fun or playful. After all, we were right by the beach! Who wants to sunbathe or go to co-ed camp pool parties in a Speedo suit? Not this girl!
I would get my mom’s Lands End catalog and scour it for the best cute suits that would come in plus sizes (or long torso- those went to a size 18, and coincidentally, I have a long torso). I would get to pick out 2 of them and would save those for beach days and the ever-important co-ed pool party.
The co-ed pool parties were held in a huge indoor pool on the UCSD campus. We had the entire pool, diving board, etc. to our fat-camper-selves. Somehow I got it in my mind that I might be able to attract the boyz in my bathing suit. While fat floats, boobz are fat, and thus I thought that would give them a little lift. Couple the bouyancy with my awesome new swimsuit would surely equal attention from the boyzzz, right?
Meh. I remember trying to jump on boyz backs and have them drag me along in the water. Thinking back on it, this immature way of flirtation was not so well thought out. For one, who wants my arms hanging on their neck, and asking for them to take me for a ride like a pony. So I didn’t think of it like that at the time. Now, my dirty mind would hear “hey boyzzz, wanna go for a ride?” and think COMPLETLEY inappropriate thoughts. (Like you didn’t think them! Whatevs).
Yet here I sit, surfing Always for Me and drooling at these cute suits (thank goodness plus size swimwear has made some progress into more styles), and wondering how I can make my best asset stand out. Who cares if they’re deflated and saggy (7 inches lost in them so far)… in my mind, they’ll always be 16 years old and fabulous.