Steve and I had our first wedding anniversary on Saturday, which blows my mind because wasn't our wedding just yesterday?
Nothing about our relationship feels much different than before we were married, and I'm not surprised. We already lived together, were strong communicators with one another, and had a very solid relationship. As I mentioned before, getting married again wasn't on my to-do list. I did it once and never wanted to deal with that sort of hurt again. So when I committed to moving to a new city and getting married I was already 100% in the deep end!
I know it's common for people to say they fall in love with their partners more and more each day. That's wonderful, but where I see the change in the past year is in the roots. They were strong before, but time has allowed them to grow deeper. That stability with the love we already have is worth everything as I don't have a strong history of trusting or feeling loved. I'm a master wall builder! With Steve? All the walls come down.
As we got closer to Saturday's anniversary, I fell into a bit of a panic. Not over the anniversary itself, but the fact that an entire year has passed.
The anniversary fell on the date of my 20th high school reunion. I didn't go as we had a night out planned, but the thought of 20 years since high school, PLUS the 1 year anniversary, PLUS only 3 months left in the year, and until we hit the '20s (2020)?
Instead of, “yay, a year has passed since we got married!” it's been “shit, it's been a year and I've not accomplished X, Y, or Z for myself.”
In essence: Relationship status with Steve? Amazing.
Relationship status with myself and time? It's complicated!
The upside to the panic of a ticking clock is that I realized I have the time and energy to work on my own insecurities because I don't have to worry about any of them with Steve. His unwavering faith in me as a person and a partner has given me that safe space to let me dig a little deeper. I'm in a relationship where I can thrive as an individual and am accepted wholly, exactly for who I am at this moment.
When I went to call the bakery who did our stunning wedding cake to get our anniversary cake (it's what they offered instead of freezing the top tier), I was bummed to see they closed up shop. I had a bit of a panic and Crust Organic Bake Shop saved the day with this replica tier. It's a mother-daughter home bakery in Crestwood, and I highly recommend! The Brown Hotel (our venue) had saved the top sugar magnolias for us, so I popped them on and it was perfect! I don't normally eat gluten because of my autoimmune issues, but this was an exception and it tasted delicious. I also broke out the sequin overlays we used on the tables at the wedding.
I wish I could re-live this day for the joy of it all, but it's time to figure out what the next year will bring! Thank you for cheering us on.
Now, a gratuitous share of our wedding video!
Wedding photos by Emily Moseley