I know I talk about making choices all the time, but it's key in my current mindset, so I'm talking about them some more. You have been warned!
I get frustrated with my body, with the weight, with my overall girth. I get frustrated with all the events that have led me to this point where it is a daily struggle to make the correct choice after choice after choice. Some days, the choices come easy. I feel great, energized, and deciding between sleeping in and going to workout is a no-brainer. But days like today, I have to struggle to make the right choice.
I just watched last night's episode of The Biggest Loser (the one I would have been on). I have lots to say about the first couple of episodes, but I'll leave that for another day. Something that struck me though, that pertained to the funk I've been in today, is something one of the contestants asked the staff doctor. The show doctor was giving her some really bad news about the current condition of her health. Her smoking and obesity contributed heavily to a “health age” that was 2x her actual age. She was distraught, and asked:
Is it reversible?
“YES! YES! YES,” the doctor proclaimed. “It's reversible but you have to work your ass off to make it so.”
*Lightbulb moment for Emmie*
I can moan all I want about how hard it is or how I'm so tired and just want a break. But I'm working on reversing this damage my body has. No matter what the cause of it, I need to reverse it. The body I had will not lead me anywhere but to an early grave. It will not lead me anywhere but depressed. Isolated. Sedentary. I don't want to can't go back there.
Guess it's a good thing I got up at 5:30 am and did this then:
Tomorrow I'm scheduled for medium intensity cardio. I have a feeling I'm not going to want to get up to do it, but I'm going to keep reminding myself that getting up is the only way I can reverse the damage I have done to my body. There are so few things in this life you can change or take back, and I'm going to fight like hell to succeed at this one.
