I typically dislike whiners. Usually, I'm of the opinion of “stop whining, start doing.” But today, I'm a whiner. Really, the past two weeks have been kind of whiny for me. For what I'm eating (and not eating) and how I'm exercising, I expect more from my body, not a zero and a 1 pound loss. A few weeks back after my frustration with my small loss after my no-weighing-for-1-month experiment, I made sure to start measuring foods, counting calories and continuing to watch my carbs. Magically, I had a 5 pound loss. I look at my foods and haven't changed what I ate then and what I'm eating now. My workouts have still been consistently good. So why don't these losses keep coming? Why am I eating this food and doing this exercise if the scale won't move (rhetorical question- I know it's for my health, but…)?
If I look back at the past couple of weeks, I just simply must say that I think my mind is fighting my body. While I've still done all my workouts, I spend a few more minutes psyching myself up to get dressed and in the car. By the time I'm there, I'm fine, but the getting there has been more of a mental chore recently. This morning, I woke up and laid in bed an extra 30 minutes while I tried to talk myself out of getting up and going to workout. Thankfully I haven't successfully talked myself out of a workout yet, but I can't pinpoint where this shift has come from. When I'm done, I feel great, as evidenced by today's sweaty faced (and jacked up hair) photo:
I've been incredibly anxious lately, but also depressed (no, not in a suicidal way! Just lethargic and generally more moody than normal). I don't know where this is coming from whatsoever. I'm happy with my progress, my husband, my job, my friends- it's just like there's a dark cloud that's hanging out with me for a little bit. This cloud has been around in my life for a long time, I just haven't seen it in a while and am quite taken aback at how it's wearing on my typically positive attitude.
My legs have been restless and sore. And swollen. I've been chugging my water, taking my pills for water retention, and nothing has changed with my sodium intake, yet here they are- pitting like crazy:
I know people are probably wondering why I'm sharing all of this. It's because I know I'm not alone with these bouts of issues. Sometimes, we hit a brick wall: physically, mentally, emotionally. The challenge whenever we fall down is to see how fast we can pick ourselves up and try again. In the past, my pattern would be:
- go, go, go! Woo!
- Stay on the ground for a while
- Consult some bad food while I'm down there
- Decide I don't like exercising and just lay down
- Gain weight back
This time, it's been much less drastic. I'm still going through the correct motions even though I'm crashing. I'm trying to catch myself on the way down instead of biting it in one breath. I know without a shadow of a doubt I won't take up bad choices, but will keep moving forward with what I need to do until I can get back on an upward swing again. I also am currently looking into counseling options to try to help me figure out the root causes of these crashes and why this cloud keeps coming back. I've done lots of good work with my body so far- now it's time to bring the mind into the mix.