Today I had my second appointment my new podiatrist to get my fancy new insoles that will hopefully help heal my still-inflamed tendon for good. I wore ridiculously awful fitting shoes in New York, so my tendon was really inflamed again and I got a medicated wrap and an order for 4 days back in my old friend:
Not nearly as bad as it looks. This is just keeping the wrapping on nice and snug so the swelling goes down.
Even though I have lingering tendon pain (and it's quite annoying), I realized when I got home from New York how much less pain my body was in after the travel and some walking around.
You see, in my past, anytime I went out of town or even did something slightly beyond the norm for me (which was being completely sedentary all the time), my body would hurt. Not just a nagging knee pain or feet swelling. I'm talking full blown edema in the legs where it feels like your skin is going to stretch open. Shoes would barely fit on the trip home. My bones – not just my joints – would ache so deep down it was like a painful itch you just can't scratch no matter what. The morning after a little extra movement meant starting the day bent over at a 90 degree angle wondering how the hell my lower back was going to let me stand upright. Each step would feel like little knives jabbing into my heels, with the pain radiating through my body while I tried to keep a smile on my face. It's like trying to pat your head and rub your belly at the same time.
When I got home from the airport on this latest trip, I threw off my shoes (which were pointy-toed and completely inappropriate to have worn so long, no matter where I was) and then marched up the stairs carrying my suitcase. When I put the suitcase on the bed to unpack it, I just laughed because I never remember not having leg, knee, or back pain after a trip, and I definitely never brought my bag up. No pain plus extra energy? Win!
The amazing Holly of 300 Pounds Down wrote a post called “Remembering the Pain” and I cried as I read it not just because it SO ACCURATELY describes the pain I used to have, but it also celebrates the recognition that the pain is gone. I really recommend you read it. Even if you've never been over 400 pounds or felt this pain, it will just make you feel good.
Tiffany of Dance, Lift, Run posted a wonderful, must-read post called “The Real Me.” It struck a deep chord within as I struggle to find equilibrium between being exactly who I am, but also having a huge part of my identity tied to how much weight I lose.
Listen: I have struggles just like everyone else. I've felt great with my workouts and so-so-but-getting-better with my eating. But I know people want to see “results” from me. They're not happening on the scale right now. I have to be okay with that. I know what I'm doing to improve my health, and those around me see it. But I need to celebrate these victories and continually remind myself of how far I've come. Pain free is a major win, so I'm patting myself on the back and celebrating it.