Hello and welcome to another edition of #TransparentTuesday! During #TransparentTuesday, we remove the rosy filters of social media and share real life.
I feel like I've been on the precipice of change for a while. So close, but not quite time to leap off the edge. The thought of selling my house and moving to another place was always too daunting for me to do, so I dug in my heels and burrowed myself a nice, comfortable life surrounded with activities, people, and places that were familiar. The past several weeks of home improvement, however, has me just wishing I could get this show on the road already! Really conflicting feelings.
I love cozy. I love comfortable. I love reliable. I love familiarity. I love routine. I've created a circle of friends/framily that are so important to me. The good part about this move is that I'm not going far at all. 1.5 hours of straight interstate driving and I'm back to the familiar. With a little effort, I can keep these relationships together and even if needed, come back for my familiar places for haircuts, endocrinologist visits, car maintenance, and more.
Yesterday, the painters left my house for the last time and it all hit me how much we've done to get things ready and how very little there is left to do to get this house on the market. (“We” being Steve and I. He's been ridiculously supportive.) All of the interior sprucing is complete and now it's just waiting on concrete steps to be repaired and then mulch. It's been a crazy amount of money, frustration, one problem after another, continual interruption to my work, and testing of patience. I was putting the cabinet knobs back on last night (cabinets were painted), and when I went back into my living room, it hit me that this place won't be mine much longer. All the artwork and accessories were put away for the painting. I stared at a box full of random things that are stuck in no-mans land of not wanting to throw them out, but not sure where to permanently house them.
As I start to grow more comfortable with the thought of leaving this particular space – the same one that I found solace in when my mom died, and the same where I re-built after a divorce – I also feel the squirm of uncertainty that will come from a change in routine. I've only lived with a few people in my life: my freshman roommate in the dorms, my best friend Anne for 1 year in college, and my ex-husband. Steve and I get a couple days together per week at this point, so what will the relationship look like when it's nearly all the time? What coffee shops will become my go-to's in the new place? Where can I find good gluten free food? Is there a body positive fitness facility somewhere nearby? What if I forget to change my address somewhere and miss important things?
I realize these are all first world problems. Just like the lack of routine I've felt being in a relationship where I split my days in different cities, I'm wondering what the new routine will be. As I stare at empty walls and look at this space from the eyes of a potential buyer instead of myself, I wonder what the new space will look like, and where it will be.
What I do know is that this is a change I want. I am excited to build a life and a routine with Steve. Like, so ridiculously over-the-top-mushy excited. When the dust settles after 2 moves (first to Steve's in Shelbyville while we get his on the market, then to our new home in Louisville), I will get to see friends who live in Louisville more frequently than I do now. I will have new places to explore and can build a new nest that will become familiar and comfortable. It will be good – I can feel it.
But this in-between space is quite uncomfortable. Here's to leaning into the discomfort so that I can move forward with ease.
Thanks for listening to today's ramble. I'd love if you left a comment with any advice or feedback. Have you moved? Any advice for staging my house? Packing tips? Know how to get drywall dust off of EVERYTHING? Want to buy my house? (only kind of kidding) – leave me a comment below or on Facebook.
