This whole getting healthy thing can wear on you. The eating and exercise is fine, but my complete lack of energy combined with high stress and anxiety means that my whole being feels out of whack. Don't get me wrong, I still feel 100 times better than I did at 455 pounds, but to go week after week, month after month of the scale sticking its tongue out at you is at times, infuriating.
This weight loss journey is much more than the scale. It's about health. So far in my efforts, I've tried to get as much professional help as possible. Sometimes it helps, others it doesn't.
- Trainer Rob helped from the personal training aspect- he made sure I didn't get hurt and helped me back to fitness
- Trainers Jim and Molly now help me and make sure I'm exercising effectively and don't get hurt
- Nutritionist Tina got me hooked up to a calorimeter and asking myself questions about why I was eating food
- My primary care physician gave me the normal battery of blood tests and declared me “normal”
- My therapist talks to me about how to manage my anxiety and put the past behind me
- My psychiatrist makes sure that my medications for anxiety, insomnia, and depression are doing what they are supposed to
- My specialist doc recently did a lot of blood tests and pulled me off beef and eggs.
- She also ordered a one day hormone test, which I did yesterday. I got to spit into 6 tubes throughout the day. Do you know how hard it is to produce 3ml of saliva at a time? Hard. #drymouth
- Tonight, as we delve deeper into what is going on with my body, I get to have this stranger in my bed:
An at-home sleep study for 2 nights. Aye. Whatever it takes though, in the name of breaking this damn stall and getting some energy back. I go back in for results of blood + saliva + sleep the week after Thanksgiving. Can't get here soon enough. Can I tell you how badly I hope something IS wrong, and that it's treatable? Otherwise, I've got nothing.
In the past, this kind of stall would have derailed me almost instantaneously. The whole question of “why am I even putting myself through this?” question would tell me to sit my ass back down on the recliner and open up a bag of chips. The fact of the matter is, that would be putting myself through much more stress, exhaustion, and anxiety than a healthy lifestyle causes.
So bring on the docs and experts. I'm here to be poked and prodded (not in a nasty way, y'all!) so I can figure this out and get back to my weight loss ninja ways.