Oh, friends.
I try to be as positive as possible. To say that I'm proud of my progress (and I am) and to not get frustrated with myself. I am not sorry for my actions or efforts. I stand firm behind them. It doesn't mean I'm always rainbows and unicorns.
Today, I was on a local CBS affiliate's morning show with my friend Heather. We were talking about a blog we write along with 4 other women, HerKentucky. I was feeling stylin'. I thought my hair looked good and my makeup was great. I loved my outfit and was hunky dory. I thought the interview went well, and so I bopped on happily to a local coffee shop to get some work done, and then to the little vintage store next door. I headed home, ready to grab lunch and see the video from the morning that I had on DVR.
I even put a photo on Instagram about how I was so happy with how I looked. (sorry for the blur- the camera had residue on it from The Color Run last weekend)
I fast-forwarded to our segment, and 10 seconds in, I turned the TV off and started sobbing. I couldn't believe what I saw. I even tweeted it. A rare display of negativity.
[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/skinnyemmie/status/231438966820311040″]
I G-Chatted my bestie, exploding with obscenities. She swore I was overreacting and that TV makes everyone look bad. Then I showed her a still shot:
She immediately saw what I was talking about, and conceded it didn't look great. But she reminded me that I have worked so hard, and that in all the photos I've had done recently, none of them made me look like this.
On the way to workout tonight, I grabbed my video recorder, thinking that perhaps replacing this image that made me so negatively react with something positive like working out, that I would feel better and stop beating myself up.
It worked. I put the video together and felt so strong watching it. I didn't once look at myself on the video and have any negative thoughts come up. I saw someone strong and determined and not nearly as large as was on the TV. I replaced the awful image from my head with one I'm ridiculously proud of.
If the picture in your head isn't one that you like, perhaps you need to replace it with another one:
