I’m upset. I can’t hide it. I was supposed to do 11 miles today, and BARELY made it to 8.4.
It was the first time training by myself and I loaded my iPod up with lots of good music. The sun was out and it was really nice. There is a 1 mile loop close to my house, so I decided I would just loop that until I was done.
2 miles went fine. Mile 3 I knew I was slowing like crazy. Mile 4 was decent. Mile 5 I swore up and down that I was going to stop. Mile 6 I told myself to just do it 1 more time. I gave up on speed and just wanted to make it home.
As I was coming up on mile 7 and saw hubs and pup coming towards me and I just wanted to cry. I was going to jump off the trail just near where they were, but instead, I turned around and walked with them until they finished their loop. I really was going slow. My ankles were hurting. I was out of water. I ate my ’emergency’ GU Chomps. My legs were tired. My knees hurt.
I just wanted to sit on the concrete and give up. Why did I decide to do this? What if my body can’t do it? Think about all of these people I’m going to let down.
I know I’m probably over-reacting, but right now I’m tired, sore and just want to cry. I’m leaving in a few minutes to go to Louisville to see Lady Gaga and the thought of going from a car to the arena plus standing all concert makes me want to cry. Hoping my meds the podiatrist gave me kick in.
Bah. Not trying to throw a pity party. Just telling you what I’m going through right now.
The best part of the walk was when someone stopped me and asked me if I was Skinny Emmie. Feels good to know people read.