This week has been nuts! You helped me exceed my fundraising goal for the half marathon (you can still give!), I got the opportunity to share my story on ABC36 News at Noon, and the University of Kentucky community shared my story again on their alumni blog.
On top of this great stuff, I also got the most amazing care package from blend Morgan. It includes some of the most amazing smelling lotions, bath bombs and bubble bath! And tea! And a Turbie Twist (how did she know I secretly wanted one?!)
It also included this, which sent me over the edge this morning:
My head has been filled with doubts and some negativity this week. When I saw the video from the interview today, all I could do is stare at my stomach. And my double chins. And how tired I look. Forget that I had the opportunity to share my story. Forget that I've lost 108 pounds. Forget that I'm doing something I never thought I'd be able to do- a half marathon. Forget that you have helped me raise an amazing amount of money for Parkinson's research.
It's a nasty habit of mine – this constant reflection on what is bad instead of what is good. Honestly right now, if I really sit down and reflect, it seems everything is coming up roses. It's like I can't just be still and appreciate things as they are right now. This journey is so long that sometimes the rush to get to the end makes me not appreciate the scenery I'm passing.
Tonight, I'm taking some meditative time to appreciate everything that is happening in my life right now. I should have positivity oozing out of my pores. I KNOW I'm blessed. And I'm SO appreciative. Really. One of these days I hope to stop minimizing my accomplishments. I know they're there, but I'm so detached from them because I'm afraid the other shoe is going to fall. If I go “heck yeah, I did this” I'm so afraid I will stumble and fall, as I have so many times before.
Anyway, enough with that. If you want to see the interview from today, it's below. Ernie is a great marathon coach and encourager. He has a group through the local running store that gets together a few times a week to do their runs together.